Eyes that lie !

As i looked around , the place looked familiar , but lifeless and dull.. isn’t this the place i have come looking for you a zillion times, to find you sitting with a bunch of friends, pretending to be busy , but actually waiting for my arrival. isn’t this the place where you and i sat distance apart , but closer at heart ! Stealing glances when no one else looked was a fun game to you and me !when we met after a week of not seeing each other, your eyes spoke more than what you might have ever imagined to convey through words…did your eyes betray me or you? the warmth of your fingers against my hand told me , how much you had missed me ..how something that was so compassionate ,so true ..became nothing at all ,in a matter of few months? did you not hear my heart screaming out to you , asking you to come and talk to me , at least once last time on the FINAL day , to soothe my aching heart ! Our telepathy miserably failed to turn on that day! you reacted as if we had seen each other the first time, and had a blank expression on your face. when the thought that this would be the last time i would see you ,my heart beat so fast , just like the time ,my eyes first saw you ! i turned away insanely making up my mind that , it was the evil twin brother i had seen today and that MY DREAM ANGEL , had actually soared high into the sky leaving me all alone ! not wanting to look back, i walked with dignity and poise,as nothing had actually happened, but my sight becoming all blurry! later when sanity returned back and realizations happened, i understood that if EYES can lie , who else cant !

Fantasy Vs Reality !

I closed my eyes tightly, after a few seconds, I opened it..Nothing happened…! I tried it again a few times… the magic failed to work. I knew it was not a dream to dissolve in few seconds, but I desperately prayed it was one…And that, I would wake up with a terrible headache and then later go to college and complain about the dream and forget it then and there. If it were a dream, I would hope never to remember it the next day ….but NO..Its REALITY. If I wanted it to be a dream, then I should travel back 2 years in time. I wonder out loudly, “they say anything is possible these days, then why the hell ,time travelling machine is yet to be invented?? ”. I soon start cursing all the people involved in science and their lack of interest in doing great things. Suddenly my thoughts jumped and I start dreaming about what all things I would have prevented from happening, and other things I would have preferred to happen, if I had a choice. After what seemed like an hour, I was shook hardly by my friend, who thought I had gone lunatic, as she had found me sitting in the same place for an hour and looking at the wall and smiling all along. It was as though I had been to see a movie (which I had written, directed, acted, edited) which had totally engrossed me and did not want to move from the seat, long after it ended. But I know, I must move on. There is a force that makes me take things in a stride and a force which makes me stand still , not letting me disturb the air around! The worst part arrives when one is being pulled in different directions, and the person wishes ,he/she has extra pairs of hands/legs, to run in all the desired ways(even if it’s for just the heck of it) !

I would have loved to be anyone else at that moment, I mean LITERALLY anyone! I often feel not dealing with a situation, is the best way to DEAL with it. But the sensible person who used to exist inside me, (who now rarely peeps out) asked me boldly, ” REALLY? YOU MEAN FOR ALL THE SITUATIONS? IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE ALREADY DEALT WITH IT IN THE BEST WAY, YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY BY NOW, BUT WHY THE HELL ARE YOU UNHAPPY?!” .I cursed once again, why consciousness puts forth such thought provoking questions at all the wrong times and only when I have just made the decision to not deal with things!

Though I argued that fantasy can improve my imagination skills and it’s good for the active working of my brain and does not involve lousy emotional feelings, it all proved to be fatal! After a lot of arguments and useless question – answer sessions, I agreed to the dominating devil inside me, that I know I must live in reality and not in fantasy.

Once the confessions were done and over, I now thought of the dominating devil as a friend, and intended to prolong the conversation and asked , “well, now tell me how do I deal with it?” … there was no reply … I repeated my question… still nothing… I knocked my insides…. Twice… all I could hear was just a hollow sound!